losing ‘ME’


Sometimes I really do not understand why things which seemed quite settled suddenly get messed up and we are left scratching our head wondering  “where did I go wrong?” and we have no answer to that question and all we can do is just wonder and wonder… life is so unpredictable that it now scares me what if I go wrong anywhere, what if I lose my way? Am I gonna find a way back to the right path or I’ll be lost in the web and labyrinth of the desires and dreams of others and ultimately, I will lose MYSELF  and if I lost ‘ME’ there will be nothing left… right now if someone asks me what scares me the most it’s the fear of losing ‘MYSELF’…life has shown me many up’s and down’s but all those time I somehow stuck to myself but today I feel like slowly…slowly I’m losing the essence of myself … I’m getting far far away from who I used to be and who I am today… I feel like I’m losing ‘ME’.

People change and I will admit even I have changed and I have drastically and changed in so many way, still even through the process of changing I never lost the essence of WHO I AM!…I never left the hold of my dreams, I never let it slip off my hands but now, I feel like my dreams are slipping outta my hands and it makes me so restless because my dreams are everything to me; they make me… they break me; they are the essence of me… who I am and what I want to be they are the true me and today I am losing the ‘TRUE ME’…with every step things seem to slip out of control as it is they never were in my hands still at least I was able to see my dreams through the fog but now it’s like I’m blinded by the expectations and desires of people I care about, and whenever I try to stand for my dreams they pull out there dreams and tag them with my name and say “these are your dreams…how do you think these are associated with us? And when you achieve these, these are only going to benefit you.” All I am left with is a smile that mocks me; and I feel like a dodge ball, being dodged in every possible direction hoping one day I might get dodged in direction of my own dreams, but all I am scared if I’ll last that long without LOSING MYSELF!!     

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